Goodbyes and Hellos

“If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.”- Paul Coelho

Last weekend, while it rained outside, I cleaned out my closet. Out with the old, in with the new. I used the Marie Kondo method of keeping only what brings me joy. Which led to seven donation bags and a lot more space. To be painfully honest, this closet purge happened for one reason and one reason alone. There was a terrible and unexpected tragedy. The rack holding my clothes was so burdened that it pulled out from the wall, creating a disaster of economic proportions that changed the trajectory of my whole weekend.

Did it feel great to get rid of the beautiful clothes that I kept hoping would fit me again? Meh. It does NOW but at the time, looking at the bomb that went off in my closet, I wanted to cry.

What does this have to do with divorce? Sometimes, things don’t fit you anymore. They are worn out, damaged, too small, or not your style anymore. And I’m not talking about clothes. Sometimes, it isn’t possible to heal terrible and unexpected tragedies. The holes are too large and prevents the repair and reinstallation of the same support. And I’m not talking closet organizers. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try to hold things together, they fall apart.

This week, give yourself permission to clean up and reorganize your life, as hard as that may be. Close the door on people, places, and things that do not bring you joy; not out of anger or hurt but simply because they don’t serve you well anymore. Make room for things that do. And choose only the things that bring you joy.

Deirdre Shaffer, MSW, LCSW


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