Tips for Navigating Divorce Recovery: Getting Grounded

Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know that everything in this life has a purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences. All events are blessings given to us to learn from. – Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

The best visual example I have for divorce is Dorothy standing on Auntie Em’s porch as the winds start to kick up. All sorts of things fly around her; sticks, trees, furniture, an elderly lady knitting in a rocking chair, cows, two men in a row boat, and finally, Miss Gulch on her bicycle. Ultimately, Dorothy flies turbulently through the air and the house lands in Oz.

As you lift off in the winds of divorce, with your life spinning around in a cyclone, remember that you can find your center of gravity. What happens inside you is more important than what’s happening around you.

To calm the turbulence, you must create times of stillness to connect with who you are and to contemplate the goodness offered to you. To return to center:

  • Carve out the best time of day for you to get 15-20 of quiet.
  • Use a guided meditation and/or prayer to get in touch with peace and love.
  • Get lost in music that soothes and calms you.
  • Read inspirational words that give you hope.
  • Practice yoga

Eventually, you’ll land where you are meant to be. Maybe you’ll remain in Oz, maybe you’ll hitch a ride in a hot air balloon. Either way, you will create the new life that you deserve and desire. PROMISE.


Deirdre Shaffer, MSW, LCSW


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