6 Tips for Compromising with the Kids
If your child can’t take no for an answer, it may be because you need to up your negotiation skills. Past success may have taught your child to be better at getting his or her way than you are at making your decision stick. In fact, they will negotiate ‘around’ you with little or no experience. Their goal is to get what they want and they can be relentless, wearing you down until ‘yes’ seems to just pop out of your mouth.
How can you negotiate or compromise with your child without losing your ‘parental authority’ or your mind? Here are some suggestions that may save your sanity and teach your child that very adult life lesson about the need for compromise. Not every wish comes true and dealing with disappointment is a lifelong process
- Get all the information before you make a decision. What does your child want to do and why? Give yourself enough time to think it through.
- Set a time limit to make your decision. If you have to contact someone else, verify information or check a schedule, tell you child when you will have an answer
- Make sure your child understands the expectations you have if the answer is yes. Curfews, location, adult oversight and any other important considerations. You’re not giving a universal, anything goes yes.
- Involve the child in the decision, if appropriate. Having the child explain the request will help them present their case before you make a decision. Having the discussion after you’ve said no just makes them focus on getting around you.
- When the answer is no, the answer is no. Some things are non-negotiable. As a parent, you have authority. Even if, upon reflection, you would say yes because you have new information or the parameters have changed, i.e., the friend’s parents are going to take and pick up the children. While you may be making a rational reversal, your child may simply see that their behavior turned a No into a Yes.
For some interesting articles on this topic, click on the links below.
Negotiating With Kids: When You SHould and When You Shouldn’t
Should We Compromise with our Kids?