This day used to be your Anniversary. Now you’re Divorced…

During our discussions in our Weekly Dose Group over these past few weeks, we discovered that many of us chose the beautiful month of May to get married. Now we’re dealing with what our Wedding Anniversary means in our new chapter of life.

Whether you chose May or any month, once you’re separated or have crossed the threshold of divorce, you’ll need to find a way to handle these highly charged days, like your anniversary.

In your new life, a day that was once cherished and celebrated may now be one that is met with a level of anxiety or trepidation.

To shed just a bit of hope on the subject, I’ve found that as with the most upsetting events that occur, the more time that passes, the easier it is to handle the hard emotions that come up on this day.

A few suggestions for this day…

  • It’s a difficult day. Recognize that and allow it to be.
  • Permit all your feelings… sadness, disappointment, betrayal, anger, fear, or any others.
  • Talk and share your feelings with trusted friends, family, therapist, and/or a support group.
  • Offer yourself deep compassion and acceptance, no matter what.
  • Know that it does get easier and yes, that is a promise.
  • Honor the day and the dream that you both had on your wedding day. Own that you both willingly made the choice and the promise. (This may not be easy, but it leads to healing)
Allow the emotions to surface, reaching out to others if the pain is a bit much. In this way, you will move through this process and achieve a more healed state.

You may even eventually look back at your wedding day and smile, seeing it as part of a collective dream that the two of you had together. Honor the younger version of you, the one that made the promise that day, and let the older, wiser version move through the pain and into your bright new future.

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