A Crash Course in Surviving Divorce, Ways to Bring Healing – Part IV

Divorce, if left untreated, has the capacity to leave you a wounded, stunted version of your former self. Make no mistake. Something inside has broken. There has been a breach of trust or maybe there have been many breaches along the way. This kind of heartbreak wounds your soul. It leaves you overwhelmed with feelings of betrayal, injustice, powerlessness, and pain.

Pivoting from a feeling of powerlessness to recognizing that the challenges we are facing can become the avenues by which we heal, is the real turning point after divorce. If you can make this shift, then you are on your way to building yourself back together, from the ground up. Reconstructing your life, piece by piece, in a thoughtful, mindful way, is a real restoration project. Finding the tools that will help you heal is the way to create this change.

The good news is that there are countless ways to build yourself up after divorce. We talk about different methods a great deal. Confiding to a therapist, sharing your story with peers in a support group, volunteering your time to help others, connecting more at church, or embracing an active spiritual life, and developing an exercise routine, all help to bring healing to a broken heart.

I previously talked at length about some simple methods that are sure to help create healing. (These can be found in the Archives Section on DRC’s page, June 2023.) Because of the proven restorative benefits that these tools bring, I think they bear repeating.

Reading. When you read, you actively participate in your own empowerment. Not only do books have the capacity to tell a story, but they transport you away from the here and now. The stories and information create a kind of buffer between you and your troubles, allowing a new perspective and greater clarity about your current situation. Books enhance your ability to imagine, improve your communication skills, reduce stress, and improve your intelligence. (Self-esteem booster).

Writing. There are obvious, healing benefits to writing, such as strengthening the immune system, and improving our minds. You don’t need to be a good writer to write your troubles away. Write a letter that you’ll never send or write down a heartfelt prayer and put it in a prayer box. Write a note of gratitude to a friend or relative. Writing helps to process emotions, allowing a new perspective, that creates a sense of calm and clarity and promotes healing.

Walking. Walking is being hailed as the preferred exercise for many. It is easy on your entire system and particularly your joints. This peaceful, therapeutic method allows for gentle muscle movement, with a cadence and rhythm that brings clarity and peace of mind. Walking is healing and walking in a natural environment can offer even more restorative benefits. Add a trusted friend or frisky pup to your walk, and you’ll amp up the healing power.

And I will close with the most important point of this Weekly Dose. No one can stitch up your life for you. Only you can do this restoration work. Seeing yourself in the role of victim disempowers you; it does not serve you. Understanding that you alone have the strength, courage, and power to begin to create the life of your dreams, is how you will create the life of your dreams.

Weekly Dose Divorce Support Group

Denise Palmer


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