Negative thinking is natural when going through divorce. There are many, many layers of loss and challenge that inevitably occur. It’s important to honor and acknowledge difficult feelings and thoughts and then work on letting them go. Holding onto them can become habitual and lead to depression. Remind yourself that amidst the turmoil, there are also many blessings and small daily gifts that bring love and light to this difficult time. It is helpful to focus on the people, actions, and words that give us hope.
Turning negative thoughts into positive thoughts takes work and practice. Using positive affirmations can help. Here are some examples that may resonate:
- I trust myself and my decisions
- I am building the life I want for myself
- I am healing more each day
- Everything will work out well for me
- I can manage these difficult days and know they will lead to a brighter future
- My life is full of grace, beauty, and pleasure
- It’s natural to feel sad, angry, and lonely. I can handle these emotions.
- I am learning to be more forgiving and tolerant
- THIS IS TEMPORARY!
Every yin has a yang. When you feel lonely, remind yourself of how wonderful freedom and independence are. Think about how nice it is to not clean up someone else’s mess and how much better you sleep without someone snoring or hogging the covers. Find the positives!
Deirdre Shaffer, MSW, LCSW