Divorce and Depression

Thoughts

In this blog we’ll discuss and uncover some of the truths of Depression, the Fourth Stage of Grief. These stages, as defined by Elisabeth Kubler Ross, do not occur in a strictly linear fashion.

The stage of Depression can come as a dark cloud, bringing the realization that your once-held dream of “happily ever after” and the idea of an intact family, must now be laid to rest.

Many people shy away from discussing depression, feeling uncomfortable in its presence. They believe that it’s better not to talk about unpleasant emotions. However, since depression affects everyone at some point in their lives, it’s best to acknowledge it and respect it. Feelings of depression, low energy or despondency are normal and natural.

Having a friend or therapist to confide in or to sit with you and create space for your sadness, hurt, and pain is extremely helpful. If you do not feel the feelings and allow them to pass through you, they are sure to get stuck inside, causing physical health issues, mental health concerns or showing up in other unhealthy ways.

In this stage you will feel the full weight of your loss, often with layers of sadness, heavy feelings of hurt and betrayal and even despair. Our brain registers emotional hurt in the same way that it registers physical pain. Emotional distress is real and needs to be acknowledged and allowed.

Depression is the lowest point in the grieving process. At this time, it is essential to gather around you a tribe of people who will encourage, listen, support, and strengthen you. Feeling the emotions and reaching out for help is your best hope for moving through this stage.

Feeling sadness and pain and acknowledging and allowing these emotions assists you in moving through this stage. This “allowing” offers space so the ragged, harshness of your feelings can begin to dissipate and be incorporated in a softer, gentler way. In time you will notice the darkness begins to lift and you’ll start to see the light at the end of the tunnel.