Coping with the Holidays
These last weeks from Thanksgiving to Christmas and then the New Year can be extremely difficult when you are separated or divorced. With the entire world singing It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year, it can be a real challenge to navigate through the loneliness and sadness of this time.
We’ve compiled a short list that may help stave off the sadness that can overtake you during these next few weeks.
- Know that the holidays are going to be different going forward. But change can be a good thing. You do not need to stay entrenched in old traditions and think that there is only one way to celebrate the holidays. Perhaps it’s time to start new traditions, or simply allow your holidays to evolve over time, until you discover what works for you, in your life, now.
- If you can, devise several plans to have in place with family, trusted friends, or neighbors who understand that you are in a transitional time in your life. It’s great to have Plan A, and hopefully that will work out. But if not, make sure that you have Plan B and maybe even a Plan C. In this way, you are not scrambling around at the last minute if something does not work out. **It’s best to surround yourself with people who truly get you and won’t have their feelings hurt if you need to change plans at the drop of a hat.**
- Set boundaries that safeguard and protect you. You need to take care of you now. You must rely entirely on yourself now. You have to say no when something feels “off” or if it feels like it is just too much. Don’t be afraid to say, “I don’t think that’s a good choice for me right now.” Protect and care for yourself and your feelings. If something makes you anxious, worried, or upset, guard yourself against it.
- Practice your script! Meaning, be prepared for odd, invasive questions from everyone! Step into your power and say, “I’d rather not talk about that right now.” Or “Being able to set up parameters for others (that protect you) is one great thing you can learn as you go through this process. And it’s a life changer!!
- If you have children, focus on them. Light up their holidays with joy and love and leave the divorce out of it, as much as humanly possible. Children should not have their holidays (or lives) tainted because of their parent’s issues and struggles. So, tune into their natural joy and innocence and bring your own to them.
We wish you much joy and love during the upcoming holidays. If you need support and encouragement at any time, just reach out to us at the Divorce Recovery Center!!
Teen Divorce Support Group!
Denise Palmer
